Winner: Kris Allen
Group song with top 13: So What? (I’m Still a Rockstar). Ooo yikes. No good. Pink should stick to that song.
David Cook: Permanent. How surreal it must be to sing at the finale. A year ago he was probably a nervous wreck. Now, he’s a platinum artist. No big deal.
Norman Gentle?!?! Really?! That is all.
Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah: Cue the Rain. Hello, male dancers. So much power behind both of their voices. The boys need to stop.
Jason Mraz, Anoop Desai and Alexis Grace (with backup from the remaining finalists): I’m Yours. Yay!
Kris Allen and Keith Urban: Kiss a Girl. He even sounds good singing country. Awww. So so good.
Top girls: Glamorous. I’m thinking the minimal choreography is because Megan can’t dance. Ohhh and here comes Fergie. Big Girls Don’t Cry.
Black Eyed Peas: Boom Boom Pow. Unnecessary costume change, Fergie. You look like a Wolverine wannabe.
Best Quote: “I was gonna ask you what’s new, but I think I know.” –Ryan Seacrest to bikini whore
Bikini girl: Ew, you suck. For once in my life, I like Kara.
Cindy Lauper and Allison Iraheta: Time After Time. Clearly, Allison is the better artist. Cindy Lauper is SCARY.
Danny Gokey and Lionel Richie: All Night Long. Very Caribbean, very random, but good!
Adam Lambert: Beth. Why are you wearing metal shoulder pads and glitter on your eyes? Oh, maybe it’s because you’re singing with Kiss. Still…don’t you have any desire to look semi-normal? Your shoes are ridiculous. Perhaps this was a good match-up. Crazy clothes and constant tongue sticking-outage. The ending? Wanna Rock and Roll All Night. Solid ending. It sounded great, but was visually disturbing.
Carlos Santana: Smooth. They have so many big names perform on this show. (Random sidenote/plug–Carlos Santana also makes awesome shoes. I am not ashamed to admit it.) Hello again, top 13. Highlights: Danny’s portion and Kris’ portion.
Steve Martin (?!?!?!), Megan Joy and Michael Sarver: Whaaaat? Steve Martin predicts himself to be the winner. Best part of that performance.
Top guys: Do Ya Think I’m Sexy. All in suits. So cute. Aaand here comes Rod Stewart, in a patterned suitcoat and looking and sounding a little cracked out. Dear God, help us all…but mostly Rod.
Second best quote: “To every guy that told me I had to sleep with him to get my album out there…I am a damn good vocalist!” –Tatiana Del Toro.
Adam Lambert and Kris Allen feat. Queen: We Are the Champions. Adammm let us hear Kris. I mean, you’re great and we love you, but stop being a diva. I’m so glad they chose to give each one of them a verse. That way, we could hear them individually. They are having so much fun. Love it. “Hello. The cherry on the top of an Adam favored season,” perfectly stated by Melissa Colgan.
Almost 100 million votes cast.
KRIS ALLEN! YESSSS. Thank you for proving the judges wrong.