Source: last.fm

I just. don’t. get it.

Not only do these Dave lovers line up and willingly admit their love for him (which is embarrassing in itself), they do so with the enthusiasm of an over-caffeinated high school cheerleader. It begs the simple question of, why? I’ve heard it all. It’s the experience. His lyrics speak to me. It’s so chill. So many of his shows sell out. That voice. He’s a Grammy winning artist.

His tour bus also dumped 800 pounds of human waste into the Chicago River, drenching individuals on an architectural boat tour. Just wanted to remind you of that.

Before I continue, I’d like to clarify something here. I don’t only listen things that I consider to be musically impressive. It doesn’t have to be a groundbreaking song, full of complex chords, vocal leaps, trills and riffs. I will happily sing the lyrics to Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy as loud as the next guy, and I’ll be even happier to suggest listening to it again 5 minutes later. Heck, if you scroll down a bit, you can see that I made the sugar coated Call Me Maybe a song of the day. However, I do think a group that has a cult following – that’s what it is, a cult – should be able to display why the group is worthy of said minions.

Allow me to go through the reasons I’ve listed above. I’ve heard many more, but those seem to be the ones that are constantly hurled in my direction in an effort to make me join the band of followers. Nuh uh, not happening.

It’s the experience: I understand the great feeling fans get from going to a show. One of their all-time favorite musicians is on stage, pouring his or her heart out and they’re surrounded by people who all share a similar love. It’s euphoric. It bonds the members of the audience and can be extremely memorable. Notice I didn’t say this was the result of attending a DMB show. I said it was the result of attending a show. Couldn’t a diehard John Mayer fan get the same feeling at one of his concerts? Or Usher? Or a fan of a band with an extremely small following? I would argue yes. How is the DMB experience any different than the others?

His lyrics speak to me: I’m a huge lyric person. I catch myself paying as much attention to the words as I am to the melody. Are his lyrics the worst out there? No, not at all. Are they the best? No, not at all. Does their overall mediocrity constitute a cult following? Once again, no, not at all.

It’s so chill: This is one of my favorite reasons. You’re right. It isn’t heavy metal, hard rock or intense rap. There isn’t a loud bass and Matthews never turns into a punk rock screamer. That’s what I gather when you tell me it’s so chill. Well, so are a lot of things. In this case, I think DMB is considered to be “chill” because so many of the songs sound the same, meaning it doesn’t require much, if any, effort to listen to it.

So many of his shows sell out: Hannah Montana’s shows sold out within minutes. No further explanation needed.

That voice: That voice? That distorted sound? It sounds like a yodeler with a mouth full of marbles.

He’s a Grammy-winning artist: So is Britney Spears.

I can recall a number of times where I let it slip that I don’t like Dave Matthews Band to a diehard DMB cult member. One person ignored me for 2 weeks and actually closed a door on me, another insisted upon playing it every time I was in his car while explaining why I should like it, and countless others have stared at me, dumbfounded, as if I told them I was going to go home and perform a lobotomy on myself.

My dislike for the group has come up multiple times throughout the past few weeks, so this explanation was beyond necessary. I believe it can be summed up rather quickly. I don’t understand the cult fascination with mediocrity nor do I understand why Matthews feels the need to make all of his songs sound identical. Or the need to make so many of them over 5 minutes long with a sax solo. As the wise Vanilla Ice once rhythmically said, “anything less than the best is a felony.” Unless, of course, you’re talking to a DMB fan…in which case everything less than the best is applauded, praised and voraciously followed.

Now that you’ve been adequately prepped, you can excuse me for this potentially awkward blog post.  A dear friend of mine over at Caffeinated & Random has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award!  Thank you, Jenny! You look gorgeous, and you’re a versatile blogger, too!

There is a set of rules I have to follow, so here goes nothin’.

Rule #1: Thank the award-givers and link back to them in your post. Done and done.

Rule #2: Share 7 things about yourself. Oh god, here it is.  Another thing I struggle with…you’ll see.

1.) I absolutely love writing.  However, I hate hate hate writing about me sections.  My Facebook “About Me” section took me longer than I care to admit.

2.) I’m a social media nerd.  As a blogger, that probably isn’t that surprising…but I could spend a day on Facebook and be ok with it.  Well, maybe not just Facebook, but definitely Facebook and Pinterest.

3.) I’m a natural redhead.  I used to have a picture of myself on here but once it became 2 years old, I took it off.  But yes, I’m a redhead but not a full on ginger.  And while we’re at it – contrary to popular belief, I do have a soul.

4.) Cooking is my therapy.  If I’m having a bad day, I’ll come home and cook.  Cupcakes, cake, a meal, a snack, all of the above, I love to do it.  I love sampling with different flavors and making up my own concoctions.  While I can’t do that with baking just yet, I have hopes of making up recipes for cakes and cupcakes, just like I do for meals.

5.) I hate nothing more than being cold, and I’m never warm. Life is rough. On an 80 degree night (when I’m staying in), you can find me in jeans and a t-shirt, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, most likely debating whether or not I need my heated blanket.  Imagine me during the winter months…it’s scary.

6.) Ever since 6th grade, I’ve had dreams of living in Nashville.  To me, it’s the perfect mix of city and country and the music scene is amazing.  The area is gorgeous and Chicago winters are miles away (see #5). I also want to live in L.A. at some point.  We’ll see how these dreams go.

7.) For a talent show in elementary school, I played Mary Had a Little Lamb upside down on the piano.  You’re probably picturing this correctly.  I basically did a bridge over the piano bench, putting my head underneath the piano, crossed my arms and played.  I saw someone do it on Nickelodeon’s “Figure It Out” and figured out I could do it, too.

Rule #3: Pass this award along 15 or 20.  I have to be honest, I’m not sure who I’ll pass this on to, yet, but I promise I will!

Some favorites:

Turn it Up - Someday, I hope to write as well as Greg Kot.

Suri’s Burn Book - I read this to laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

What Kate Wore - I’m obsessed with Kate Middleton and her closet.  This helps to fuel that fire.  Oops, I suppose you now know 8 things about me.

Caffeinated & Random – You should see how random we are when we’re together. I read this to pretend like she didn’t move to D.C! Thank god for gchat.

Rule #4: Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award. This is officially at the top of my to do list.

Thanks to everyone who makes an effort to stop by from time to time.  I can’t express how much it means to me.

If you don’t mind, I’m going to bother you with a small portion of my life story. This is about my inability to win contests. Big, small, short, tall – I don’t win them. I’m pretty sure that if I was the only person to enter a contest, the contest holder would cancel said competition due to lack of interest and leave me high and dry. Now, it’s not like this keeps me up most nights, but I’m going to take you through a series of my life winnings and explain how everything turned around (hopefully…) yesterday.

I first won a contest at the age of 5. My mom, sister and I went to a Barbie event (yeah, I said it. Barbie event.) where we got to meet THE REAL BIRTHDAY BARBIE, snap some pictures, beg our mom to buy us some super neon Barbie clothes and accessories and revel in all things Barbie. During the event, we were given raffle tickets. Another thing you should know about me: when I enter a contest, I go all out. Daily entries? If I can, it’s done. I get excited and always always always think this is the one – I’m going to win! I only tell a select number of people because the more people I tell, the chances of me winning slips through my fingers. Well, 5-year-old me was correct. My raffle number was called and I was a winner! A real winner of a real contest! I went up to THE REAL BIRTHDAY BARBIE to collect my prize. She beamed down at me with her poofy dress, blue eye shadow and early ’90s teased, platinum blonde hair, smiled, and handed me…a Hotwheels car. Yes, the prize at a Barbie event was a Hotwheels car. And that, my friends, is when I learned what a buzzkill felt like.

The second time I ever won something was pretty recently. I won 2 tickets to “A Night with Flavor Flav” in L.A. I’ll keep this short and sweet. I live in Chicago. I would have to pay for my own flight and accommodations…for “A Night with Flavor Flav.” Needless to say, those two seats sat empty for Flav that night, bless his clock wearing soul.

Then yesterday, a miracle happened. Allow me to start from the beginning. I was leaving work the other day and saw a JumboTron on top of a truck outside of my train station, saying “Plot Your Escape” with a large, blinding countdown. I made a mental note and told myself to Google it as soon as I got on the train. True to fashion, I walked through the doors and forgot immediately. Luckily for me, I received an email from my manfriend (by that I mean we’ve been dating for almost 2 years) with “Mystery Concert???” as the subject. What was it about? It was about this “Plot Your Escape” madness. I went to the website and saw the following: 4 concerts. Countless Celebrities. 1 Epic Night. Also attention grabbing – tickets are free. Free?! That’s only my favorite price. Sold. Of course the artists weren’t mentioned, but the Ticketmaster event mentioned Grammy winning Artists. Farewell to an hour of productivity forever lost to Google searches, Twitter feeds, Ticketmaster browsing and constant clock watching. I learned pretty quickly that tickets went on “sale” at 11am CST for the Chicago show. So, I tried to get on with my life and work. At 10:57, I went to the Ticketmaster page, waited patiently for 11am, and somehow, someway, snatched up two of the 50 tickets for the event. I sent a celebratory text to said manfriend with exclamation points galore.

I found out seconds later that I snagged two tickets to a Maroon 5 and Sara Bareilles surprise, intimate concert being put on at Chicago’s Union Station as part of a Jimmy Kimmel show. Concerts in L.A., Chicago, New York and New Orleans will be happening simultaneously and live streamed for all to see. That’s about all I know. And I can’t sit still.

Well, that and this is so much more exciting than winning a Hotwheels car or a night with Flavor Flav. Expect a full recap on Friday.

Other performers include:

New Orleans: Mary J. Blige and Gavin DeGraw
New York: Mariah Carey and P Diddy
Los Angeles: Nicki Minaj (Update: Minaj recently cancelled due to a sore throat) and Cee Lo Green
Chicago: Maroon 5 and Sara Bareilles

Yes, we still have a copy of the first Beatles album out in the United States and no, no albums were harmed in the making of this background.

The signs are everywhere. You know that looming project you attack head on for a few weeks, and suddenly you just…fall off the face of the Earth? Progress stops, and the guilt begins almost immediately.  That’s exactly what has happened here. My last song of the day was in August. I’ve been motivated. I’ve had ideas. They’re written on pale yellow post-its and bits of paper, which have scattered themselves across my desk and nightstand, or taken up residency in a dark corner of one of my bags. I carry bits of this blog with me everywhere I go. Literally.

“Bennie alternated between the Sleepers and the Dead Kennedys, San Francisco bands he’d grown up with.  He listened for muddiness, the sense of actual musicians playing actual instruments in an actual room. Nowadays that quality (if it existed at all) was usually an effect of analogue signaling rather than bona fide tape…”

Slight exaggeration.  All joking aside, being able to experience a weekend full of music in the heart of Chicago made me realize one thing.  It’s time to get back on this bandwagon and keep up with the musical world.  How to start?  A legitimate and (kind of) timely recap of the musical happenings of the weekend.

Muse - Music Unlimited - 8.5.11

Friday

The first day of any new experience comes with a flurry of different emotions.  In the case of Lollapalooza, excitement, nervousness, the inability to sit still and ecstasy come to mind.  The day technically began at noon, but because I have a fear of using vacation days, Lollapalooza didn’t get started until around 4:00pm.

First up – Two Door Cinema Club.  This was an obvious first choice as the lead singer has red hair.  The group put on a solid show and had good interactions with the crowd.  Since I didn’t come to the event with a grasp on their discography, I used part of their set to look around, get accustomed and people watch.  I did, however, walk away thinking that I needed to research the group a bit once the weekend was done.

Tinie Tempah: Sound familiar? British rapper Tinie Tempah blew up in the U.S. when his song Written in the Stars hit radio waves. (He might also sound familiar since he was featured on HauteThought in March.)  A two time BRIT award winner and proud member of the Billboard Top 100, Tinie Tempah understood how to get the crowd involved and play to their excitement.  With multiple shoutouts and compliments to the city and people of Chicago, it’s no wonder those at the Google+ stage had their hands up and heads moving throughout the entirety of his set.

Tinie Tempah - Google+

Muse: Generally speaking, a truly entertaining musician has the ability to perform while interacting with the audience just enough to keep it interested in not only the music, but also in the performer himself.  In other cases, the music speaks for itself.  Muse happens to fall under the latter group of stage dwellers.  Matthew Bellamy’s haunting voice filled the entirety of Grant Park on Friday night and certainly didn’t disappoint.  Within the first few notes of the opening song, the audience was captivated – something that takes many artists an entire set to do.

Saturday

Eminem - 8.6.11

Super Mash Bros.:  DJing is rapidly sneaking its way into mainstream music.  Thousands of people line up to see these technicians distort sounds, create mixes, operate turn tables and amp up the energy level in any room.  Super Mash Bros was no exception.  Creating mixes that included songs from Justin Bieber to Journey to Darude’s Sandstorm, this show was the best way to dance off the calories consumed earlier in the day and relive high school dance days, complete with dancing teenagers, of course.

Death From Above 1979: During the walk to the Bud Light stage, the group I was with ranted and raved about Death From Above 1979.  I hadn’t included them on my “must see” list, so I was anxious to see what I was missing.  Truthfully, I could have skipped this act and been fine.  Our group decided to use the hour for photo shoots, catching up, and re-living the past day, resulting in having a live band as not much more than background music.

Patrick Stump: Lead singer of Fallout Boy Patrick Stump has gone solo.  Hailing from a suburb of Chicago, Ill., Stump enchanted the audience with This City, an anthem to the city he’s from with a sample from Chicago native Lupe Fiasco.  While Lupe didn’t make an appearance for Stump’s set, he was able to get the audience to sing along in the anthem to Lollapalooza’s home.  Stump’s set was performed on the BMI stage, a more intimate setting with Buckingham Fountain and the skyline as a backdrop.

Cee-Lo Green:  Ever since the line up was released, I became beyond excited to see Cee-Lo’s performance.  I, along with the rest of the country, had an obvious obsession with F*ck You.  I have since discovered some of his more soulful pieces and couldn’t wait to hear them live.  Cee-Lo is an artist with a truly different voice for this generation of music.  His R&B vibe and sassy stage presence were sure to team up for an unbeatable set.  How did I feel after the last note was sung? Let down.  Cee-Lo performed on the stage Eminem would be visiting next and the area was already starting to fill up with spot claimers.  Defeated by the lack of enthusiasm from the crowd, Cee-Lo performed his set without much oompf…but he didn’t miss a note.

Cee-Lo Green - 8.6.11

Eminem: Quite possibly the most anticipated act of Lollapalooza 2011, Eminem took on the stage without a shadow of doubt.  He started a bit slow, with limited interaction with the audience resulting in a more mellow camaraderie.  Screams from the audience were greeted with an enunciated “Chi-caaa-GO” from Eminem.  Once he began interacting with the audience and truly putting on a show, all bets were off and the environment amped up immediately.  Talk of his sobriety stood as the turning point, as Eminem claimed that he wanted to drink with Chicago, grabbed a handle of vodka and took a swig.  Streams of “vodka” began pouring out of his jacket as he vowed to continue to stay sober, and started introducing older songs from a time before his sobriety.  The audience went wild and in that instance, Eminem gained complete command of the stage.

Eminem - 8.6.11

Sunday - “Mudapalooza”

It is important to note that on Sunday, Lolla go-ers transformed from music lovers to drowned rats.  Two separate rain showers pelted down on the scene, drenching anything that stood in its way.  The result? An extremely muddy environment where only the most dedicated survived – and an amazing day, overall.

City and Colour - 8.7.11

City and Colour: Looking at my initial schedule now, I see that I marked City and Colour and highlighted a couple of their songs.  However, after 2 days of concerts and a limited amount of sleep, parts of my schedule escaped my mind a bit.   We wandered to City and Colour on a whim and all became enthralled.  Congratulations, you have 3 new fans.  Lead singer Dallas Green’s raspy yet raw and beautiful voice easily stands as one of the most impressive parts of the weekend.  The group’s dedication to music in general became clear when they asked the crowd to put away all cameras and cell phones during a more emotional song and told them to simply experience the moment.  What an organic way to start a day reminiscent of rainy, muddy Woodstock.

Sam Adams: In absolutely no offense to Sam Adams and his set, the biggest thing I remember about his performance is mud, rain, mud, mud and more mud.  Trains of mud monsters as well as crowd surfing mud-caked concert goers were constant passersby during this set.  While the environment and weather stand as the most exciting part of the Sam Adams show, it was an unforgettable experience and I would gladly do it again if I could.

City and Colour audience - 8.7.11

Thank you, Lollapalooza, for reuniting me with my love for music and reminding me why I started this blog in the first place.

Flight to New Orleans: about $350.00 round-trip
Obligatory purple, green and gold clothing: probably close to $50
Hotel/food/drink costs: don’t even want to think about it

Grand total? A sobbing wallet, clinically depressed bank account, and minuscule dignity.

Luckily, Festa Parties has a solution for all Chicagoans who bleed purple, green and gold and are willing to do whatever it takes for some bead laden neck candy. Bead Quest III: Bead You Tonight, Festa’s Mardi Gras pub crawl, allows crawlers to experience 9 bars in Wrigleyville while competing for beads at each location.

Rather than trying to come up with an excuse deemed professional enough by your boss, (ie: NOT “it’s always been my dream to make my parents proud by raging on Bourbon Street.”) call your best friends, significant other/others – though it may be smart to only tell one per event/parents/coworkers/top MySpace friends, and enjoy Chicago’s own tribute to Mardi Gras.

Notorius for its 10,000+ attendee TBOX event (Twelve Bars of Xmas), Festa Parties knows how to create a memorable (or slightly hazy…) event. This year’s tribute to Mardi Gras madness will take place on February 19th, beginning at 2:00pm at Murphy’s Bleachers. Bead Quest III takes bead collectors full circle, ending the event at 10:00pm right where it started, complete with Karaoke and a DJ dance party.

Last year, party planners tossed out over 10,000 beads to Miller Lite and Vodka Hurricane drinkers parading through Wrigleyville. Save yourself the time, money and creative effort required to take a trip to NOLA and celebrate Mardi Gras in the comfort of the Windy City.

Click here to learn more and to purchase tickets for Bead Quest III.

Check out the allstar mistake published on the FOX News website.  It has since been fixed, but apparently FOX spells Liverpool, M-a-n-c-h-e-s-t-e-r.  I’m sure it happened because they were so focused on being fair and balanced. 

Welcome to iTunes, Boys from Liverpool!

Click here to see the edited version of the story.

Another Halloween, another SAW movie.  It’s a tradition now.  Ok, I’m going to be honest and get this out of the way: for some weird reason, I like the SAW movies.  Yes, the acting may suck and it may be pretty disgusting but under all of that are pretty good morals.  That lasted through the first 2 movies.  The same goes with the crazy twists.  Now, to SAW 1,985.  This is how I grade it:

Quality – F

Acting – D

Twist – F

Morals – D

Enjoyable – C

The acting is the worst in this movie.  I can’t even say the twist without ruining it but it pissed me off because it ruined the rest of the movies.  Jigsaw died in the 3^rd one.  Doesn’t that usually mean the series is over?  Oh, ok guess not, just checking.  The main character is an “author” who wrote a book based on his survival from a Jigsaw trap…except that he’s a fraud and wasn’t in a trap.  SHOCKER.  So, his traps are teaching him how to be honest.  One of the worst things about this movie is the quality.  It seems that the production team rushed to make this movie.  The makeup is god awful.  You’d think by the seventh one they would know how to torture people and make it look real.  You can tell where the hooks are in a guys chest and you can tell that the guy’s back that is glued to a seat being ripped off is rubber.  This one just sucked. Somehow though, I could sit through it.  I hope this isn’t a sign of me becoming Charles Manson.  I might want to put the cyanide away…..JOKING!  November Fools!!!!  Anyway, don’t bother seeing this movie.  Even if you’re a fan of the series. It just makes the series look bad.

5. The Walking Dead (AMC)
Ok, I’m cheating on this one since it just premiered but you can’t get more original than having a show about zombies. It looks like they had actual fear and emotion in this show. Can’t wait to watch it. A guy wakes up in a hospital and finds out the world is inhabited by the walking dead. He sets out to find his family. He hides in a tank at one point in the preview as it gets covered in zombies.  Oh, it’ll be great.

4. Chuck (NBC)
One of the most underrated shows out there. This adds humor, romance and spies into one original, funny, touching show. Let’s call it Chuck with F*R*I*E*N*D*S like James Bond. (You see that? I combined the elements it mixes into a title. Oh, I’m so creative.)   Chuck is about an underachieving Best Buy worker who accidently downloads government files into his brain and has to work for the CIA.  His team consists of a hardass, a badass and a REEEEEEALLY hot girl who they have a Ross and Rachel or Jim and Pam romance going on with. Plus, he wears Chucks.

3. The Buried Life (MTV)
I have never been so touched by a show while laughing so hard.  This show is so legit!  It’s about 4 college buddies who set out and do things on their bucket list.  The touching part is that when they cross something off their list, they help a random stranger cross something off their’s (reunite me with my long lost kid, get over my fear of heights, etc.) MTV doesn’t help them doing this at all except maybe give them gas money.  They have done everything from crash a wedding to sneak into the playboy mansion to ask out Megan Fox and Taylor Swift.  Most recently they stole a lock of Robert Pattinson’s hair.  You’re missing out if you’re not watching this show.

2. Modern Family (ABC)
This show rescued the classic sitcom with just one simple thing: actual humor. It’s about one large family who, like all families, have their issues. It’s also very diverse. The dad is married to a much younger, beautiful Columbian wife. His daughter is married to a loveable idiot with 3 kids, and his son is gay with a boyfriend and they adopted a baby from Vietnam. The show is hilarious. One of the best things about this show is that you can jump in at any time and not be totally lost. The son’s boyfriend Cameron is the funniest character. With his overdramatic personality and one liners, he makes you crack up every time you see him. The husband Phil is hilarious as a dad trying to be the cool dad but mostly ends up being the embarrassing dad. (You all know which one you are.) The show gets props for handling the gay and Columbian situation with maturity and honesty instead of the usual stereotypes. That’s where the show succeeds.

1.The Office (NBC)
Of course I picked this as my number one. It’s hilarious. It’s original. It’s how Steve Carell got his start. This is where “That’s What She Said” got her start. This show isn’t just funny. It has moments of sincerity with great acting. The quieter scenes are just as good as the over the top moments and that’s a tough thing to pull off. John Krasinski plays Jim and he is the best character on the show. With smartassness and slackerness (yes, I just made those 2 words up) he always finds a new prank to pull on Dwight. And like Chuck, the supporting cast is outstanding. Season 2 – 4 are the best ones because it has the best “will they or won’t they” since Ross and Rachel. Jim and Pam’s story line is touching, cute and hilarious. That’s where John Krasinski really shines as an actor. Go watch the show. It has always left me smiling and satisfied (that’s what she said).