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An open letter to Mother Nature, with edits

Dear Mother Nature,

You are a stone cold wench. Happy November! Hard to believe we’ve already finished up summer and the early part of Fall, isn’t it? Seems like only yesterday when we were battling your wrath the tough winter.

I’ve decided to write you today to beg mercy with a small request that I believe will help keep Chicago a happier place this winter. As I’m sure you recall, last year was a bit rough in terms of the temperatures and snowfall. I certainly understand that you may have been going through something and sometimes, our personal lives impact professional decisions. We’re all only human, after all. Except for you, evil fairy.

I’ll be honest, if it was up to me, winter temperatures wouldn’t drop below 50 degrees, except for the occasional moments which beg for snow (Christmas Eve, Christmas, and a couple in January or February for good measure). However, because I know you have a thing for frigid temperatures, I’m willing to make a deal with you, devil. I’d like to request that temperatures do not go below 30 degrees this year. We all have things to accomplish throughout these months and making the simple task of going outside a painful one decreases productivity. Plus, the numerous layers required to endure even the shortest of moments outside were a little over the top and required a lot of time to pile on. This time could have been used in more beneficial ways such as volunteering, planning a move to a warmer local, spending extra time at work, or inventing the next big thing.

Mother Nature

All I ask is that you take my letter to heart and truly consider my plea. I believe it will make your job easier and I can say with confidence it will make everyone here a little bit happier. You did an excellent job a couple of years ago and I’m confident you can do it again. But you have no soul, and you like to see people suffer so alas, I am aware that this is a shot in the dark.

Sincerely,

A Summer Enthusiast

PS: I really liked your Elsa Halloween costume! It was flawless and you had the stone cold character down perfectly.

 

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